Red Meat and Trucks

I grab my crotch and spit, because I am a man. I have a foul mouth and use every unintelligent word in the French and English language at least twice in any given sentence, because I am a man. I play sports and believe in it religiously. The important things in my life are, in this order, as follows: The Size of My Genitals, Sports, God, and Trucks. Women and Booze run side by side.

I am insensitive and uncaring about the feminine creatures or sides of reality or anything even remotely related to them. Yet, I try and sleep with as many women as I can and take as much as I can get from them in bed without trying to return the favor. If I can not get my way I will become childish, and violent. I have more love for my arms and chest than a mother does for her children. I am shallow and incoherent in my reasoning and have little tolerance for annoyance. If something does not work, hit it. I know in my heart it is cool to tell disgusting jokes and look at pornography on a regular basis with my other drunken friends.

Working on cars makes me awesome. Being dirty and sweaty makes me release an aura of animal-like sexuality and the women can sense this. The most logical step would be to remain filthy, unshaven, and stinking for as long as I can. I never clean under my fingernails.

Competition is what drives me. It doesn’t matter what it’s over, as long as there is something to compete over, I will try my damnedest to be the winner. I would even compete over a hypothetical situation or nonexistent prize. I am still the winner even when I loose, because I don’t loose. And even if I did loose I’ve had more babes than him, plus my rod is bigger and I can drink him under the table any day. So it really doesn’t matter, these things are obvious to anybody how much of a man I really am.

I only eat red meat.
I only drive trucks.
I am a sore looser.
I am selfish.
I am rude.
I am cold.
I am distant.
I am unfaithful.
I am arrogant.
I am childish.
I am hurtful.
I am a mold.
I am a cookie-cut.
I am one more disease in the mind of man.

© Copyright 2005 - All Rights Reserved - Ryan Valich

As always I am looking for feedback on my words. I would love to make new friends who share the same passion for writing and abstract ideas and I invite anyone to make comments, either good or bad, and to contact me.